Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
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My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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