dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
