It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
