I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
