just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
