o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
