My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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