My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
