just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
