What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
