why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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