Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
