Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
