If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize