We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
