fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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