it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
