sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
