So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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