I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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