It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
