What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
