Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
