ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
