I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
