i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You left your phone here
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