My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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