im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
