im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
