i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
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