i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
