just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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