I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
