I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
