Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
