Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
