i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize