It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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