Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
