similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
