my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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