im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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