It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize