so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
