Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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