Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize