Jerry, you need to find god
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
