what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
