i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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