I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
