i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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