Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
