gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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