Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
