shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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