these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
