These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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