Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize