i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.