I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN